Today I reached the point of no return. I have always struggled with my weight and I don't mean a mere 10-15 pounds. No, I have always been quite large. As a child I would run around with the other kids, eat the same stuff for lunch and I would always be heavier. Nothing has changed.
My teenage years were hell. Not only was I fat, I was smart too, double doomsday. I had no chance. The worst part was dating and boys. They would all tell me how much they loved having me as a friend, but that they just weren't attracted to me. It turned out all right, but it was rough.
I hovered around the mid-high 200s for most of my young adult life. I focused on the trade-offs - big boobs. Well, one marriage, two pregnancies (with full blown toxemia) and a high-stress job, and those 200s are a thing of the past.
I've done the crash diets, the gym memberships and the healthy eating. Each time I find a reason to stop. So what made today different? I went to the doctor.
My knee has been giving me trouble for a few weeks now. Severe pain and it feels like my knee cap is popping off! Well, as it turns out that's pretty much whats happening. The knee cap is sliding to the outside of my leg. My ortho doc showed me the x-rays - it's pretty severe. So, the cure - lose weight. I have to hand it to Dr. Jackson, he was super nice and tried to be delicate in telling me - but anyone that knows me knows I'd rather cut the shit and get to the point. So, lose weight.
I'm not quite ready to post the exact amount that I weigh. But, I can say this, a few weeks ago I was at the highest I've ever been - today, I'm down 8 pounds. Not much considering that my current number is in the 300s, but it's a start and I take consolation in the fact that it was going down before I met with the doc. I'll post the exact number -that I will NEVER WEIGH AGAIN, after I'm under 200lbs (that's also the magic number that as soon as I hit, my dear husband has agreed to let me get a tattoo!) But, if I'm cutting through all the bull-shit, the truth is I can do a lot better.
I know there isn't a magic cure. It's the same thing we've been hearing for a long time now - diet & exercise. The really good news, for me, is that I have a very supportive husband that is always delicate and sensitive when it comes to this issue. I think I should take back what I said - when it comes to him I want him to be delicate and sensitive - It might not make sense, but there it is. I also have good friends at work (luv ya Deb!) and good friends at home (luvs to the Nina). Other good news - tonight I opted for the wheat bread and I went to the gym and exercised for half an hour. I know it isn't that much, but the knee started popping out, so I'm easing into it. I did stretches and ran a mile on the elliptical (15 minutes) - boy am I out of shape (obviously!)!
It's a start though.
I'll raise this glass of water to that.
Cheers!
kcgnome
My teenage years were hell. Not only was I fat, I was smart too, double doomsday. I had no chance. The worst part was dating and boys. They would all tell me how much they loved having me as a friend, but that they just weren't attracted to me. It turned out all right, but it was rough.
I hovered around the mid-high 200s for most of my young adult life. I focused on the trade-offs - big boobs. Well, one marriage, two pregnancies (with full blown toxemia) and a high-stress job, and those 200s are a thing of the past.
I've done the crash diets, the gym memberships and the healthy eating. Each time I find a reason to stop. So what made today different? I went to the doctor.
My knee has been giving me trouble for a few weeks now. Severe pain and it feels like my knee cap is popping off! Well, as it turns out that's pretty much whats happening. The knee cap is sliding to the outside of my leg. My ortho doc showed me the x-rays - it's pretty severe. So, the cure - lose weight. I have to hand it to Dr. Jackson, he was super nice and tried to be delicate in telling me - but anyone that knows me knows I'd rather cut the shit and get to the point. So, lose weight.
I'm not quite ready to post the exact amount that I weigh. But, I can say this, a few weeks ago I was at the highest I've ever been - today, I'm down 8 pounds. Not much considering that my current number is in the 300s, but it's a start and I take consolation in the fact that it was going down before I met with the doc. I'll post the exact number -that I will NEVER WEIGH AGAIN, after I'm under 200lbs (that's also the magic number that as soon as I hit, my dear husband has agreed to let me get a tattoo!) But, if I'm cutting through all the bull-shit, the truth is I can do a lot better.
I know there isn't a magic cure. It's the same thing we've been hearing for a long time now - diet & exercise. The really good news, for me, is that I have a very supportive husband that is always delicate and sensitive when it comes to this issue. I think I should take back what I said - when it comes to him I want him to be delicate and sensitive - It might not make sense, but there it is. I also have good friends at work (luv ya Deb!) and good friends at home (luvs to the Nina). Other good news - tonight I opted for the wheat bread and I went to the gym and exercised for half an hour. I know it isn't that much, but the knee started popping out, so I'm easing into it. I did stretches and ran a mile on the elliptical (15 minutes) - boy am I out of shape (obviously!)!
It's a start though.
I'll raise this glass of water to that.
Cheers!
kcgnome
