I don't love my husband like I used to.
I am so grateful that this realization came now, as we begin our fourth year of marriage. It would have been such a waste to have continued on without realizing the way I feel, because I don't love him like I used to...
...I love him so much more.
Three years later and I've never been happier. We've worked through a lot of problems and misunderstandings. We've definitely had our share of downs in the whole up and down roller coaster that relationships can be. There were times that I wanted to throw the towel in and cut my losses. There were times I screamed, and times I cried, and times I felt so alone.
We've learned to talk, to not place blame, to work together. We trust each other and that is more valuable to me than anything we've ever fought about. I feel as though we've become a partnership, united against anything the world can throw at us. He is my safety, I turn to him first and he is always there when no one else is.
I spent so much time believing that he didn't care; that trivial things were more important. I didn't realize how much he noticed, how well he knows me. He catches me off guard with his clever insights into my heart and each time he does happiness bubbles up inside of me.
It feels as though I've walked through a fog covering us and it was made of our shortcomings and we have helped each other out of it. It amazes me how much time I spend thinking about him during the day and how just hearing his voice helps me feel comforted when I've had a difficult time at work. Seeing his email address pop up in my inbox makes me smile.
I'm so grateful that I realize these things now so that I can spend all the rest of my life appreciating all the things he means to me. I don't want to forget to keep fighting for us. I don't want to forget how me makes me feel right now. I just want to remember that I don't like him like I used to, I love him so much more!
kcgnome
